Melting heart and tearful eyes - Part 2

நாடகத்தால் உன் அடியார் போல் நடித்து நான் நடுவே
வீடகத்தே புகுந்திடுவான் மிகப்பெரிதும் விரைகின்றேன்
ஆடகச்சீர் மணிக்குன்றே இடை அறா அன்பு உனக்கு என்
ஊடகத்தே நின்று உருகத் தந்தருள் எம் உடையானே

Pretending as a true devotee, I stand amidst your other devotees
in the hope that with them, I shall soon attain you and be liberated.
Oh, the mountain of gold and all wealth, I ask from you
nothing but for my heart to forever melt in your love!

(Thiruvasagam, 5.2.1)

Immaculate rhyme and prosody combined with an expression straight from the depth of the heart - I wonder what could be personally more moving than the above verse in Thiruvasagam. The saint's humility is far from human. He calls himself a pretentious actor pursuing liberation! By that he acknowledges liberation as the ultimate destiny of the soul and yet refrains from asking for it. So suffused he is with his blissful love for God that he prays only to be filled with more love! Also he knows, irrespective of his intentions, by seeking satsanga or the company of truth-seekers he is bound to be brought on to the right path. Having fully identified with the Lord, one wonders however, if he himself needed it or was just setting an example for us to follow.

Everything to him is a lie, including his own quest which he calls an act. But is he not the same saint who in a different verse (refer previous blog post) claims that he has forsaken all lies? Is he contradicting himself? Probably not. In the cosmic dream that we inhabit, the unceasing flurry of thoughts in the mind may be a lie, the various actions we perform may be a delusion; But what stays on as true and leads us through births is the longing for God in the heart. And this is the only truth that he seeks - To love God with all his heart and melt in it.

The great Tamizh scholar and speaker Ki.Va.Ja presents an interesting story (Which I heard through scholar Suki Sivam) to explain this verse. "A person plays the role of a king in a play and in the act, is given a glass of poisoned milk by the queen, which he drinks and dies. The glass in the play is filled with actual milk, that the actor drinks. The play ends and the actor returns home. His wife prepares for dinner, for which he says that he is full with the milk he drank and is not hungry. A rather simple and plausible event. An interesting analogy can be drawn from this though. The king and queen were false, the story was an act, the words spoken were lies and yet in the middle of so many lies, the experience of drinking stays on as a lasting truth. And so is the play of life. Everything we perceive as true is a mere delusion. And yet what we experience from the heart continues to lead us... one play after the other."

(The picture above is of a devotee offering morning prayers in the Ganges river, Varanasi)

Melting heart and tearful eyes - Part 1

மெய் தான் அரும்பி விதிர்விதிர்த்து உன் விரை ஆர் கழற்கு என்
கை தான் தலை வைத்து கண்ணீர் ததும்பி வெதும்பி உள்ளம்
பொய் தான் தவிர்ந்து உன்னை போற்றி சய சய போற்றி என்னும்
கை தான் நெகிழவிடேன் உடையாய் என்னைக் கண்டுகொள்ளே.

As I worship your fragrant holy feet,  my overwhelmed body quivers and
I raise my hands above my head,  with tearful eyes and a melting heart.
As I renounce all lies, and proclaim victory to your holy feet, my trembling frame
can no longer hold my hands! My lord, why don't you look at me?

(Thiruvasagam, 5.1.1)

Of all the verses that make Thiruvasagam the poignant and emotional masterpiece it is, this one stands apart. Words can seldom convey the experience of God. Through the above lines, the Saint describes the physical experience he undergoes when he sees God. His hands spontaneously raise to surrender completely. His heart overflows with love and his eyes with tears. His mortal frame immersed in god experience is trembling in joy and can hardly hold him straight. (A similar idea is presented by Kulashekhara Alwar in his Perumal Thirumozhi which I will defer to a later post).

This verse in a sense conveys the essence of Thiruvasagam and the path of God-love and complete surrender that it advocates. The poet saint Panranjothiyar who later documented the life of Saint Manikkavasagar in his Thiruvilayadal puranam pays homage to him by referring to this exact verse. He claims that while all other saints attained the holy feet by worshiping, Manikkavasagar got the same by crying - such overwhelming love and joy!

தொழுத கை தலைமேல் ஏறத்துளும்பு கண்ணீரில் மூழ்கி
அழுதடி அடைந்த அன்பர் அடியவர்க்கடிமை செய்வாம்

With hands raised above the head and body submerged in tears
The one who reached the holy feet by crying, I wish to serve the servants of that great one.

When I imagine Saint Manikkavasgar blinded by tears, I'm reminded of the following words of Paramahansa Yogananda, the greatest yogi saint of our times. He describes his experience of Samadhi or the superconscious state of God union.

"Smoldering joy, oft-puffed by meditation,
Blinding my tearful eyes,
Burst into immortal flames of bliss!"

The words of the saints may talk of an experience most of us have not had. And yet powerful they are, as they always have and will continue to inspire millions to pursue the infinite bliss that these masters lived in.

(The picture above is of the stone idol in the sanctum of Hoysaleshwara temple, Halebidu, Karnataka)

...To be continued